Sex is occupying the media at the moment: Harvey Weinstein obviously, Kevin Spacey of course, and then quite a few serving MP’s in the British parliament seem to have trouble differentiating between ‘yes, yes. oh yes’ and a forced smile (‘sigh, go on then’). One MP called his assistant ‘sugar tits’ which apparently was a quote and therefore didn’t constitute sexual banter – he said. Nobody asked her, well obviously.
I’m pretty sure I’ve talked a lot about gender here and probably sex too, but having spent quite a lot of time shaking my head in disbelief and watching quite a few dramas featuring sex on TV, I thought it was about time to re-visit it.
I watched Rellik with my husband, which was probably a bit titillating for him and made me sigh…and not in a good way. The reason? Our middle aged ‘hero’, rocking that ‘anti’ with just a bit too much relish, and generally being a bit of a shit to all the women in his life, was nevertheless a hit with said women who were happy, nay delighted, to be had from behind and/or up against the window and in the bogs in a police station. Now let’s set aside all the sundry issues this threw up (eg, have you ever been in or close to a male toilet and thought that it smells like a great place to have sex?” or should you be having a relationship with a junior officer – at all) and concentrate on the sex as it was portrayed. Several points occurred
- one – how come you get to see female actor’s tits and frequently their ass or crotch too, but almost never see so much as a sneaky peek of the male leads nether parts? Is that in their contract? Sometimes you get to see a bit of ass if it’s a junior lead, and very very occasionally a bit of dick if it’s a comedy. Actually, it’s so rare to see dick that I can almost count the occasions on one hand…ha.
- two – rear entry – it’s a position that doesn’t um, tickle, any parts of a lady’s bits that need tickling to give her even the remote chance of coming*, and I suspect it’s often used to cover up his dick and ass, while allowing us her tits front and centre. Does it also play into the male obsession with anal sex? Hmm, good point.
- three – we almost never see any man on woman foreplay or oral. I can think of one occasion actually – Kevin Spacey going down on Kate Mara in House of Cards – but it was a bit well, rape-y, so probably doesn’t count as enjoyable consensual foreplay, you might see a bit of implied blow job but see point one, of course there’s no chance of dick so… Anyway, despite this, women are immediately up for sexual intercourse and almost never have to be um, gotten ready, you know like in the real world.
- four – when he comes, they end the sex. That’s it, he blows his wad, it’s all over. Did she come? Who cares….
(*Virtually all studies into sex have pretty much demonstrated that unless you are a very lucky woman, or there is some extra ‘digital’ involvement then most women don’t come during sexual intercourse. They come before, or after with a bit of oral or finger stuff but not during. And there is little or no likelihood of them coming during RE or anal sex as it doesn’t ding those necessary bells.)
Sooooo why do film and TV dramas always show nowt but (usually rough) sexual intercourse with a woman who never comes, and who always seems to be happy to take it from behind, or give a blow job or ….well etc etc, and why does porn never show anything but women taking it in various different orifices and giving blow jobs all the while (no female porn character ever seems to be having genuine fun or orgasms. You don’t have to take my word for it though, just open an new page and have a click….). Why do some men still think it’s ok to feel up their employees? Because sex is still what men ‘do’ to women, and if this just seems like a 20th century attitude…. really?Really? Look around again.